Lawas Mission Trip [20-22 June]

On 20-22 June, our CM team joined Pr Daniel to Lawas to help facilitate iApologia and conduct 2 worship concerts. 
Our team was made out of:

1. Lee Pei Mun

2. Angeline Cheong

3. Jonathan Lee

4. Shellyn Felicia James

5. Juni Cheah

6. Jason Tan

7. Goh Ching Li

8. Jason Siew

9. Elizabeth Lim

1. Pei Mun's Testimony

I've been to a few mission trips and I can say this one is quite an eye opening to me. I've seen churches who're weak which need strengthening and so forth.. But I've never seen a town or village which claimed to be a safe Christian village to be this numb and indifferent. From the surface, the church seemed impressive with the new building, families which initially I deemed "godly" who obediently go for Sunday service and etc. As I witnessed the kids serving their ministry relentlessly, they looked expressionless and i don't feel any thanksgiving of their offering in terms of ushering, dancing, playing music nor singing.

To my surprise, I heard of stories of shabu addiction and all the vices that seemed impossible to have this stronghold in this "holy" kampung. From this experience, I was shocked and saddened to see behind the glossy surface, there lies najis-najis dosa behind it. It broke my heart to know the kids who's no relationship with Jesus though they're born and brought up in Christian family.

Personally I'm very very impressed by Pr Dan's confidence in preaching in bahasa in such a short period and his passion to reach out to this people! Truly God has imparted His wisdom, strength  and direction for you through out this mission. I believed by the change of the Lawas team's strategy.. Many kids have been saved and seeds have been planted! 

One thought I brought home is the burden to wonder how many more of this "holy" kampung exist in this land?

2. Shellyn's Testimony

What I have caught from the Lawas trip is the importance of having a personal relationship with Jesus or in other words, knowing Jesus personally. Without knowing who or what we believe in, we will never be convicted and truly be convinced that our faith and what we believe in is real. How can we testify or share with others about something that we have not experienced ourself? To me, I feel that it is yet another reminder from God that we as Worshipers, must have that personal relationship with Him first and THEN, there will POWER in our worship. We cannot give what we do not have.

3. Jason's Testimony

So I wrote a little something resembling a reflection* (if the definition is to be taken in its more diluted and loose form) on the recent trip to Lawas for a Kebaktian Kebangunan Rohani (or KKR) meeting with an I-centric apologetics twist that the CM was given the privilege of being a part of (wow that was a long sentence, but I digress).

2 weeks on and while the emotional impressions have somewhat dimmed (coming back to humdrum work in KL can do that), the (dare I say Biblical) impartation that I received pre/during/post Lawas has no less waned.

With that, allow me the concession to translate, reiterate and expand a little more on some of the points that I raised in my earlier reflection thingie*

Oh boy was I naive because hey, honestly I started out with the self-serving notion that I was going there to enjoy myself, whilst simultaneously 'churching' and getting some solid iApologetics stuff that (I foolishly thought) I could then flaunt around like some kind of badge -- the long and short of it is: wow, new lows in being wrong, humbled and corrected, both by His Word and His people (sorry/thanks fellow CM peeps!). 

Now why bring this up again? Well it is at this juncture that I am reminded of 1 Thessalonians 5:24 (read the text at least from v12 onwards, if even to get a glimpse of the context, though I encourage that you may as well go full throttle on the rest of the book :D), which gives the following: He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it. Now make of it what you will but in its proper context, this verse speaks in no uncertain terms about our calling to His ministry (officially or otherwise) -- how it is (any Pr. reading this: if this does not align with scripture in context, kindly please omit?) in many ways independent of our current ability/future potential but dependent on one key attribute of God: His faithfulness.

It takes 2 hands to clap and while this idiom is oft overused to the point of it being akin to kicking a dead horse (itself another idiom used ad nauseum), it certainly deserves mentioning in the context of how we approach churching. The very idea of The Church and what defines it will be left for other windows of text by individuals far better equipped to the task but let us just zero-in on how/why did we ended up seeing a church in Lawas that was full of people but nearly devoid of Christians -- a lot can be said on this, and I am the least qualified to judge, but instead of a sweeping statement that hits everything and nothing at the same time, a question: Take away our loud music and instant-noodles approach to God and His Church, how are we any different? When the Gospel is implied and presumed rather than preached and taught outright, when we sing the songs we want rather than read/hear the Words that we need, when we conveniently partition and compartmentalised God (as though He could be -- how foolish are we sometimes?) into one-off instances of desperation that we call to Him but otherwise forgotten when His call to us for communion is resolute and invariant of our condition (does Romans 5:6 not speak of how He reached out to us even in regards to our Salvation?) -- what then comes forth from this truncated faith? Surely shallow foundations have their own plethora of secular adages that will advise us against being thus but  instead let us draw from Colossians 2:6-8 -- being rooted in Christ so that our churching is right inside and out; this responsibility is as much the leaders/Pastors of the church as much as it is of the congregation.

God is sovereign because by His good graces the church of Lawas (and the team heading there) initially thought it was more of an iApologetics main course with KKR-flavoured sides, God by His Spirit led the team to completely change the course content to be evangelistic -- I will not lie, part of me was a little disappointed that we could not dig deep and tear the iFaith apart together with them, but what we ended-up helping with was a revival of the church there, and this unforeseen turn of events was innumerably better in every single way fathomable  -- broken families were reconciled, young people who were up till then merely parroting their faith (and this was a heartbreaking thing to witness: that someone will mechanically spout out that Jesus Christ is their Lord and Saviour, without realising that saying Jesus is Lord means living under His Lordship, that declaring He is Saviour but forgetting that it was Sin and death that He delivered us from, but more so, that they did not have a tangible relationship relationship with Abba Father through Jesus Christ ala Romans 8:12-17) but praise be to God, are now choosing Jesus Christ with their eyes wide open, knowing God truly and not as a title to a nice book or catchy song.

4. Elizabeth's Testimony

I've always knew I wanted to do missions this year, but I'm not too sure what can I do. Being a 3-year-old believer makes me doubt about my knowledge and afraid that I'll say something wrong. When I heard about iA training, I just wanted to strengthen my faith, so I went for the training. But when Angeline asked me to go for the faci training, I told her, looking at the requirements, I don't think I can go any further. My biggest problem was to speak in BM.

Then I was told about the mission trip to Lawas. I just had the feeling that this is the trip I wanted to go. Not sure where Lawas is, I just knew I wanted to go. But then I was still very worried about needing to facilitate in BM. Angeline's encouragement was really helpful. As a cell leader, she acts as a model for people to follow. She told me even though her BM wasn't good, but just go. It made me feel that, wow, she's really brave. So I availed myself and just go with the flow.

Ever since I availed myself for this mission, everything that happened after that seems to be Spirit lead. Motivations to do stuff that I don't usually do. Like, making the effort to practice texting or speak in BM. 

The preparation for this mission was as important as it was during those 3 days in Lawas. I wanted to really prepare myself, especially my heart to focus on God, so I fasted for 40 days. Although I've fasted before, but this time, the fast was really what it's meant to be - to take away something that is distracting us, to hunger for God. I experienced failure for the first 11 days. Kept going back to Facebook and Instagram. But I succeed in the end. I had the hunger to spend time on the Bible. Focusing and fixing my eyes on what God is doing in my life. Never felt so burden-free before. I thought, this could be something that can help people see what it means to set their eyes on God. Not about me, but how God is able to overcome my addictions and renew it with the hunger for His presence and guidance.

As part of the worship team for this trip, I was a little overwhelmed by the songs we need to prepare. Especially they are not songs that we're familiar with, all BM, and it's 24 songs for 1 weekend! With only 2 weeks to prepare and so little time to rehearse, most of us were really worried if we're able to execute the songs well. Well, at least sing the right lyrics and play the right chords in the right key. So I kept looping the song list, and most of the time, I was really drawn to the songs. It was really different than the English worship songs. There's just something really beautiful about the worship songs in BM. The lyrics were so simple and straightforward, that it captures exactly how we feel, as though it was a prayer, a conversation, telling our Father in Heaven how we feel. It gets into my heart every time that I'll stop my work and start worshipping.

3 days in Lawas without phone connection wasn't really an issue for me. I guess fasting FB and Instagram has really prepared me for this. To me, this is a real retreat - totally cut off from the world outside and just worship God for 3 days. 

First day at Kg. Tang Itong, that welcoming ceremony. Although I was really grateful about the whole VIP treatment, but when I shook their hands, it didn't felt like any other handshakes. Their eyes weren't focused as if they don't dare to look back at us, ok lah, they're shy, but apart from that, I felt indifference, cold. Even the performers, the dancers, there were no expressions on their faces. But I just gave them big smiles, I want them to feel what it is like to be joyful when you have Jesus in you.

Second day, I was quite nervous about it because I had to facilitate in BM! Apart from that, the girls were really shy, very hard to get them to tell me their stories. But after a while when I get to know them, they slowly open up to me. Rebecca told me that her aunt who was a Christian married a Muslim. Her cousin, who was the son of this aunt, tried to convert her. Telling her stuffs about the heaven and hell Muslims believe. Then there's another girl Munga, her friend tried to convert her too. Telling her that their Allah is better than Christians' God. She felt sad that her friend belittled our God, saying that their Allah is more powerful. At that time she doubted if God is powerful, if God really do exists. Carlina shared that her friend trying to convert her, asking her to wear tudung, trying to persuade her into converting. But she told him that she believes in Jesus, she rejected. But I have no idea why after the first session she left.

I asked them to share about their experience with God. At first I thought they were really shy to talk, so I shared mine first. When I told them about my experience, they had that "wow" look on their faces, as though they've never experience it before. So I went on to ask them, how did they felt about God. No answer. Who was God to them? They all gave the same answer. Juruselamat. But when I ask why do they think Jesus is their Juruselamat, they couldn't answer. Then I know, we couldn't continue with the iA book, because they don't know who God is. How can they not know? How could they not have experience God? I was heartbroken.

When Pr Dan led the kids to pray the sinners' prayer, everybody bowed their heads, and Sentuh Hatiku was being played, I just felt that immense feeling, wanting the kids to really experience God and truly receive Jesus not just as their Saviour, but also their Father. My tears started rolling down my cheeks. I kept on reciting what I want for the kids in my heart, for God to touch each of them. And when I see them slowly raising their hands, I was just so grateful that our Father is real. He'll do it when our hearts are focusing on Him. I went on to pray for each of them. Hugged them, cried with them. I couldn't express more how I feel for each of them who have truly received His love, and really be able to experience God's presence. I was really happy for them.

That night during the altar call, I was really touched to see so many of them came forward to receive the anointing. Their cries, their screams, it reminded me of what God said to me when I was at my darkest. He said, "Do you know, seeing you crying like that, it breaks My heart too?" And it hurts me to see them cry like that. That reminder made me went forward to hug them, comfort them, just to let them know that I'm here, Jesus is here to comfort them, to love them.

When we sang Ku Di'bri Kuasa after altar call, never before have I felt that joy, that victorious. A lot of us have felt a bit boring or unable to connect with the upbeat songs we sing during weekend celebration services, but singing this song after altar call, it felt different. The fact that Jesus has truly won lives that night made singing those songs meaningful.

After a series of things we experienced, Sunday's service was truly a celebration service. I really felt that we were really celebrating breakthrough, celebrating the changes in the people's hearts. Never have I felt that kind of worship atmosphere. That day, Carlina, the girl who left after the first session, she came, just to return the pen I lend her. I hugged her and prayed for her.

Seeing the older generation praying with the younger generation touched my heart. It reminded me of my parents. Regardless of what their relationship is, father and son, or mother and daughter, or just strangers, seeing them asking for forgiveness from each other, being able to let go of their pride and their role in the family to seek for forgiveness, for the better, touched my heart.

I personally feel that the team was really bonded. Probably because the worship team was able to bond with the SIB BM people before the trip, dinner + worship practices and iA faci training, it really helped a lot. As a musician I really believe in fellowship outside of practice sessions to help our minds sync so we will have better chemistry on stage. But in this case, our hearts were in sync. One purpose, for God's kingdom, for His glory.

This trip has definitely changed me in some way. I'm not racist, but before this, the phrase "love thy neighbour as thyself" never rings as much as it is this time. When I see the Indonesian Maids Fellowship in church, I still greet them as a fellow sister, but there's still this difference, that they're Indonesians, I'm Chinese. This trip, I don't feel this at all. My mind doesn't tell me that they're bumis, my heart doesn't too. I just have one feeling, is that I love them. Besides that, that whole experience in Lawas makes me reflect on our church. As a member of Creative Ministry, how can I help to bring that worship atmosphere at BEM Tang Itong to ours? Why is it that we don't feel what we feel in church like how we feel in Lawas?

To me, this mission trip wasn't just to evangelise, to share God's love, but also a self discovery of what my calling is. I always have the burden for friends or people around me who are Christians but many are either backsliden or lukewarm. I guess this mission trip has helped me to find what my calling is. I don't know what the future holds, but as for now, I really want to help people to know what they believe and draw near to God. 

The main thing that I brought back from this mission trip, was that I learnt that if we make an effort to empty ourselves, continuously thirsting for God’s presence and let Him work in our lives, His presence that we carry, even the smallest things we do can really touch lives. 

Quoting a friend of mine, may God give us the understanding of making missions our lifestyle, and our lives as a mission on earth.